We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
