But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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