We won't sleep together?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
