Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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