I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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