You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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