I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
