He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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