Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
