What a fucking waste of an outfit
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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