I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
