who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I need a burrito and a hug.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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