just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
