therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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