there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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