I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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