I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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