id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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