I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
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I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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