he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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