I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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