you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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