i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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