how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
