i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
