there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
