just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
