he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
