'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
