youre lurking in front of me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
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