i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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