I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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