everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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