Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
