so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
