We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
