This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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