why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
