Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
