can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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