Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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