Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
