You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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