Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
