She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At least make sure they are 18
Why
"it" just moved
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
