she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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