i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
