My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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