i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just invented taco cereal.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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