Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
