Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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