Swine flu. Run for my life!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
