Just fell off a train. Bad.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
