It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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