Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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