I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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