Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize