That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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