So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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