Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
