Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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