Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
birth control should be required to get into college
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
